mikalhvi:

full-onrainstorm:

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

"Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.

weteevee:

parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”

me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”

my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”

(Source: flygoing)

super-nature:

brandyway:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES
ARE YOU SURE THEY’RE NOT PEDOPHILES
OFF THE INTERNET YOUNG LADY

I am dying omg

unfollovving:

themonsterwithoutaname:

ladymalchav:

coluring:

coluring:

unfollovving:

Coke is so much better without bubbles

What is wrong with you?

HE DOESN’T MEAN IT BUBBLES

image

isn’t Bubbles a little young to be doing coke?

fucking Christ

What happened to my post

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

blondeloli:

daddysriotgrrrl:

blondeloli:

i can finally fulfill my dream of having tons of dicks in my mouth!

"what do you mean you’re not impressed by the hundreds of cocks i can take in my mouth at once?" 

*at the dentist’s office*
"Why do you have so many cavities?"
"i ate too many dicks :("

Wonder Woman is there to kick ass not give you a boner

favorite response to some dude saying the Wonder Woman costume isn’t sexy enough on Facebook (via agentturner)

(Source: agentprince)