parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”
me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”
my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”
Coke is so much better without bubbles
What is wrong with you?
HE DOESN’T MEAN IT BUBBLES
isn’t Bubbles a little young to be doing coke?
What happened to my post
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
favorite response to some dude saying the Wonder Woman costume isn’t sexy enough on Facebook (via agentturner)